Dating Culture in Indonesia You Need To Know — Love will find its way to you eventually, and it just so happens that you’ve fallen in love with Indonesian. If you’re living in Indonesia, finding love at all won’t be challenging. However, some norms and policies are different from what you are used to. Let’s ensure you know some of those before your strike date in Indonesia.
Women Tend to be More Passive
In a men’s and women’s relationship, especially if you’re in a relationship, women tend to have a more passive role. They’ll expect men to be the first to initiate things like taking her out for a date, buying her gifts, messaging her, etc. Additionally, women tend to be indirect with their needs. Let’s say most women won’t tell you that she cut her hair yesterday, and she’ll expect you to notice it without any hints.
Taking Things Slowly
You don’t usually be in a relationship or immediately affectionate to each other after the first or second date. When trying to date an Indonesian, you must go for a few dates and talk frequently. Indonesians tend to set their boundaries from the start, even if they are interested in you. It is a slow process, as most people tend to see if they’re comfortable enough with you in the long run.
PDA is Awkward
Kissing in public, whether on the cheek or lips, is very awkward for the people around you and your Indonesian partner. In Indonesia, the culture doesn’t tend to show much PDA on dates, and sometimes, it is a limit to hand-holding only. But don’t be surprised; they’re likely still into you even if you’re holding hands.
Family Approval is Important
When you’re in a relationship with an Indonesian, be prepared to meet their parents. Your partner might likely have talked about you beforehand, but parents’ approval of your relationship is important for Indonesians. Most Indonesians still live together with their parents and even have a close relationship with them. Of course, like most parents, they want the best for their children; thus, for meeting with the family tends to be nerve-wracking as once they disapprove of your relationship with their children, they might make you break the relationship.
Living Together Before Marriage is Prohibited
While it’s normal for couples to move into a new place together before marriage, it’s prohibited in Indonesia. Living together is only for married couples; even if you both set out to marry in the future, it is still prohibited. Sleeping in one bed with your partner is not common in Indonesia either.
Premarital Sex is Frowned Upon
Indonesia is a conservative country; thus, premarital sex is frowned upon by society. Thus, Indonesian tends to hide their sexual activities from both of you only. Some might reject doing any sexual activities with you, but that doesn’t mean they’re not into the relationship. Premarital sex is a view of disgraceful by Indonesians and tends to have a negative connotation.
While these points are not particularly true for every Indonesian, they are just some of the things commonly practised by society. Like every relationship, communication with your partner is important. Be open for what you expect of your relationship and respect each other’s boundaries.
